Austin Chronicle in 5 minutes 4/07/06

The Chronicle is awesome, but there are so many pages… and so many ads… who has time? And we know you read this site while you are supposed to be working anyway. In case you don’t get the chance to lounge around in a coffee shop this week, we’ll break it down for you.

COVER: A bunch of faces representing a new generation in Austin Theatre. Pretty boring, but the cute nerdy girl in the middle is kind of hot.

6: A lot of grey spilled about Proposition 2. But Louis Black still finds a way to mention Neil Young by starting the article off with a disclaimer that he’d rather be writing about Neil Young. That being said… you should probably read this editorial… very interesting stuff about “Open Government,” “Save our Springs,” etc. Has anybody else ever wondered why a feature called PAGE TWO is on page 6?
12. The Modern World strip is pretty good this week. Even more important, our favorite computer model is featured twice. But it’s the same ad, so maybe it was a mistake.

14. LETTERS: Somebody is pissed off that Dr. Laura was booked at the Paramount. Nobody else is very interesting this week. Note to editors: get another cover involving vaginas and the Bible to juice up the controversy in the letters page.

18. Grainy pictures of a cop beating the crap out of a deluded guy who thought he was Jesus and that the cops were devils. He also exhibited Hulk-style extraordinary strength.

22. An article about Out Youth going temporarily out of business. But what editor let this line slip by: “Austin’s queer youth were dealt a sudden blow in January.” Brilliant, but perhaps inappropriate.

25. Tom Delay Throws in the Towel. But if you read blogs you already know all about this.

40: Feature Article about a new production of the Austin classic In the West. I didn’t read this, but if you are into theatre, it’s probably really interesting.

59: Movie Stuff. Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogalo double feature at the Alamo. I am so there. And I will be there with a complete lack of irony. Also some interesting details about Grindhouse which I will devote an entire post to.

60: Interview with Kyle Henry and Cyndi Williams, director and actress of Room, starting tomorrow at the Alamo South Lamar.

65. More info on the TABC crackdown. If a guy gets pounded for thinking he is Jesus fighting demons, imagine how much trouble you will be in under this new Sales to Intoxicated Persons operation. Unless you’re caucasian that is.

77. Look at this terrible ad. I couldn’t even tell what it was at first. Turns out it’s for the Louisiana Swamp Romp and Crawfish Festival. This is a great example of everything you shouldn’t do when designing an ad.

86: Review of Kyle Henry’s Room. 3 1/2 stars.

120: Anchovies (an unihibited dance club for adventurous couples) advertises their Pimps & Hookers Ball. Something tells me, this place takes it a little more seriously than your average Pimps and Ho’s party.

125. Comics. We want more local cartoonists! The always awesome Jason Stout is a great start, but the town is teeming with amazing cartoonists. Let’s turn Austin into a town that supports cartoonists as much as it does musicians and filmmakers.

That’s about it. Nothing too exciting, but as always, the Chronicle is essential reading. And it’s FREE!